Missing
by seriousish
Summary: Regina's in hiding. Emma looks for her.


Regina was good at speeches. Her reign as mayor had featured several good ones, even when she couldn't fully extol the benefits of her rule: eternal youth, unhappy Snow White, no one having to be a cricket. There'd been applause. Deserved applause.

Now she couldn't think of anything to say. She had a fountain pen, good paper, peace and quiet. And something to write about, of course. What to say to Henry when she called him. How to explain. But all she could come up with was 'You should trust me. _You _should. You _should.'_

Regina's pen was tapping on the paper, not making any mark, when she heard the grating noise of the tomb being pushed aside. Someone was invading her sanctum. Then Regina heard a head being bumped on the low ceiling in the staircase, and a stream of curses muttered as soft and constantly as water through a dam. Now she knew who it was.

"Regina? Are you here?" Emma called. Regina watched her rub her blonde hair through the one-way mirror. "If you are, word of advice. People might not think you're evil if you don't have a supervillain lair. And yeah, when you get to it through a secret passage in a graveyard, it's a lair." Emma made air quotes, which seemed a bit excessive to Regina.

"I'm being lectured on real estate by a woman who lives with her mother. Wonderful." She got up and amused herself by waving her middle finger in front of the mirror. It was the little things that made life worthwhile.

Watching Emma embarrass herself might lift her spirits. It was better than thinking of Henry. Turned against her, like a cancer, once a happy part of her, now killing her.

On the other side of the glass, in the secret chamber, Emma took a seat in one of the uncomfortable metal chairs Regina kept around for ambiance. In the secret, secret chamber, Regina pulled an Aeron office chair up to the mirror. She spent ninety-eight percent of her graveyard time in there, after all, usually just treating herself. There was no need to have a sore back on account of mood.

"If I'm not just talking to myself, you should know Archie's alive. You were framed by Cora. And we could really use your help right now."

"The only thing you don't need help with is dyeing your hair."

Emma frowned and tapped on the glass, like she probably would do at an aquarium, the bitch. "Regina, are you there? I can feel someone sassing me and I know when I'm being sassed. I had a gay roommate in college."

"Ooooh!" Regina waved her hands in the air. "Look who went to college instead of being taught the dark arts by a warlock!"

Emma sat back down. "Okay. I understand if you want to sulk on your own like Achilles in his tent."

"Wow, a literary reference, you must be so proud of yourself."

"_Stop that! _It's freaking me out, knowing you're snarking at me and not being able to make a clever retort."

"Technically, you're never able to make a _clever _retort."

"_Goddamnit! _Alright, I probably deserve whatever zingers you're landing on me. That's the other reason I wanted to find you. To apologize."

Regina sneered but said nothing. What was there to say to that?

"No one's gotten more second chances than me. And the worst thing about them is when someone won't give one to you. Because you know you don't deserve it, you know they're right to be judging you. But you still have to ask for mercy. And when you don't get it, it feels like they're all right about you. You are bad. You are worthless. But when someone really, truly forgives you… maybe you don't know how that feels. But it makes up for the people who won't."

Regina stared through the mirror, looking for proof. Not that Emma was telling the truth. That she was lying.

Lies. That was all anyone gave her, then they gasped when she judged them harshly. Rumpelstilskin lied to manipulate her, Cora lied to control her, Snow White lied to hurt her. Never anyone she could trust. Emma would lie to get Henry. What kind of mother would she be if she didn't?

Emma stood, finally looking embarrassed. "Okay. I don't think you're sassing me at the moment, so that's something. And if you want to be alone, that's fine. But just so you know, if you come back, you can lord this over me all you want. I don't care if we're just disagreeing over favorite colors, you can throw this in my face. I'll concede black is the greatest color or whatever. And I'll… fuck, Regina, I don't know how to convince you. All I can do is promise to do better, and why should you believe me? Look, I screwed up. I should've had faith in you. I wanted to. But I got so scared of what might happen to Henry with you around. I'm not used to caring about people who aren't me and I guess I'm not great at it."

Regina kept staring. She would've liked to turn away, gone back to writing her note, bored of watching Emma be Emma. But she couldn't. There was something about Emma then she couldn't recognize. It vexed her.

"You know about my dumb sixth sense thing, right? I can tell when people are lying, sometimes. I call it a superpower, it's more of a party trick. But, uh… yeah… when I first came here, I listened to you and you lied all the time. And then the Curse ended and you started talking about how you cared about Henry—it was like something had changed. Maybe it was some magic bullshit, maybe almost losing him jogged something loose. But you weren't lying. Then I go on this stupid quest and I come back and you're… what? This person who people are giving a chance to, this person who's earning her way back? That was me once. And you're not perfect, you talk a lot of shit, but I stop hearing this warning bell I used to get with you.

"Then this Archie thing. And I give you a chance, because I could've sworn you were telling the truth. Everyone said you were irredeemable, but people have said the same about me. Druggie fuck-up single mother. Trust me, 'evil queen' sounds a lot better. I thought maybe… after this… you'd owe me one. Or we'd be even; the point is, we'd have helped each other enough times that maybe we could stop holding all the crap from before against each other. We could've just been good. I could've let Henry ride a bicycle to your house, you could've come over and eaten dinner with us. That would've been nice, right?

I, uh… I really wanted to say yes. When you asked if Henry could stay over. I should've given you a chance then. Maybe things would've been different. But I was afraid of losing what I'd fought for. You can understand that. And then Mr. Gold shows me what happened—what it looked like had happened—and I gave up on you. I thought I was right not to be noble; right not to do the right thing. I could just cut you off and push you away from Henry, and that was… okay, that was goddamn stupid, one, and two it was wrong. Turning someone's death into ammunition in some petty feud. So I lashed out at you, feeling so goddamn good about myself, and now—

Now I feel like throwing up. I'm looking in this mirror and I feel like I don't recognize myself. That's not me. That's not someone who should be raising Henry, any more than the Evil Queen should. So help me, help me raise him. I can't do it on my own."

Now Regina could look away. Emma appeared so vulnerable, so lost, that Regina actually wanted to… comfort her. Disgusting weakness on her part. No. No, it was wonderful acting. Trying to play on Regina's goodness, the very goodness they had all so often said didn't exist. Well, she wouldn't fall for it, not once more and not this time.

Emma could go on her way, sincere or not, and quiver in fear of the Evil Queen's revenge. They all could. And Regina would stay put, in the quiet and the dark, finding the words to make Henry see the truth. She would bring him back to her way of thinking, and they would leave this place for somewhere far away.

She wouldn't believe their lies anymore.


End file.
